Why do couples fight about money?

I have heard that the two things couples fight most about, is money and sex!

I'm going to stick with money (you probably were hoping the opposite!)

Just like eating sugar, spending money, can be a drug...you can get a high from consuming and buying things. This "high" doesn't often seem to last long, which is why, you have consumers spending more and more money. In relationships, there is often a SPENDER and a SAVER. This can be the cause of many fights.

When I think about couples fighting about money, I remember a time with my mom at the dinner table. I was a teenager, and my mom was telling my sister and I about how to structure money in a partnership. She mentioned how it is best to have your own bank account, and to split up the cost of bills by whoever makes the most money (prorated). She talked about prenup's and the importance of protecting your assets if you are in a financially advanced position before your partnership. My mom would say make sure you have your own credit and you establish the family money similar to a business.  I remember laughing at this comment, thinking that marriage was not a business, but about love and a fairy tale ending (cue sappy song). My mom would say, "Don't laugh, seriously Care, marriage is like a business relationship!"

My mom was married young, had two children, was divorced, and had the responsibility of her children on one income. She had money issues in her relationship and she was very open in discussing them with us. Every opportunity she could get, she drilled into our heads, financial independence is a must. This way, no matter what life throws your way, you are capable, strong, and resilient to face those challenges.  Today, I couldn't agree more!

If you find yourself fighting about money...first, take a step back. How can you address the situation so that things can run smoothly, like a well oiled machine, or a stable solid business?  Think, what would Apple do?...LOL (this is a bit of a joke).

Fights often result from a lack of education or understanding. It is important to take the time to educate each other on the money habits you have learned growing up (good or bad). Set family financial goals and individual financial goals. Most of all celebrate when you get there! If you don't know where to start, elicit the help of professionals.

You'll never be perfect, but by taking small steps together, setting goals, and using your money in meaningful ways - I sure hope these fights will be more about sex than money :P
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